Conversation with a drunk

the train’s not full but he sits next to me

and tells me he’s fifty

speaking so LOUD

the whole compartment can hear.

the train’s not full but he sits next to me

stroking a pink parrot

and telling me the country’s

going downhill FAST.

the train’s not full but he sits next to me

and tells me the parrot’s for his wife

says he’s building bridges and WINKS

or else it’s a twitch.

the train’s not full but he sits next to me

and I realize I’ve been chosen, so start

chatting with him and PINKY who

it turns out, is pretty intuitive for a stuffed parrot.

Don’t understand

I was sweating

but things were nearly done

when sensing I wasn’t alone

I looked in the office

the kitchen

the bogs

no one there

but shit on the floor

and the crapper clogged with paper

as I cleaned again

I noticed shitty footprints

leading across the lobby

up the stairs

they weren’t mine so I followed them

star of the shitfoot version of Robinson Crusoe

I found a kid in the pool room

you’re covered in shit, I said

I wanted to play pool, he said.

out, I said

and watched him go

then examined the cue

as if it held some clue

to what was in his mind

seeing it didn’t

I got on with things.

At interview

at interview I wore my old man’s suit.

the jacket looked pretty good

but the trousers were tight

and so short

I looked like Norman Wisdom.

still I went along with it

smiling so much it hurt

ignoring the tic below my right eye

and the sweat running down my neck.

the three men before me were at home in their suits

though one said

he was wearing his brother’s suit

he was only joking

not a real comedian, like me.

walking home afterwards

I was tempted to re-evaluate my whole life

but bought a beer and thought

better of it.

Email

today I waited

for an email to arrive.

whilst waiting

I put the names

of all the people I knew

into the search engine

to see what became of them.

the search engine was most helpful

if they’d been very successful

or dead.

the screen flickered at me

I flickered back it.

I waited for an email to arrive

any email would do.

but none arrived

just like yesterday

and the day before that.